Monday, September 22, 2014

In the library

Setting: The local library on a warm Saturday afternoon.  Patrons are using computers, perusing the stacks, sitting uncomfortably in too-small chairs.

Indistinct voice from stage right, indignant: Mumble mum mumble my shoes! Mum mumble!!

[Jennica's ears prick; she moves down the stacks to get a clear yet discreet view of the offended party.  She passes Amos and catches his eye with a delighted grin.]

Indignant: He took my shoes!

Librarian hurries up

Librarian, amazed: What?! He took your shoes?!

Indignant, rising above a stage whisper: Yes, he took my sneakers and left these flip flops!  I told him to stop messing with them.  I just thought he was bopping to his music or something, but he took my shoes!!!

[Jennica secretly wonders why she removed her tennis shoes in the first place]

Librarian, amazed: . . .

Helpful patron: Yeah, she told him.  I heard her.

Third patron brings up pictures of the suspect on a laptop or phone

Indignant: No, that wasn't him.  He looked nice.  He was dressed in bright colors, with pink.

Librarian: Pink!

Indignant: And he took my athletic shoes!  And they were women's shoes!

Librarian: Those aren't yours? [gestures at flip flops]

Indignant: No!  I'm from Arkansas, so I can leave barefoot [smoker laugh], but he took my shoes!

Librarian: This happened before, just a week or so ago!


Amos and Jennica are done picking out materials, so they reluctantly exit stage left.


Moral of the store: Never remove your shoes at the local library!

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