Ahava

Ahava is Hebrew for love, and that is what I feel for Israel. Why am I here in the States?
The strangest things remind me of my time in that land. There is the hummus in the caf. There are the Tevas that my friends still wear. There is the Star of David around my friend's neck. There is the phone call from my old roommate. There are the pictures posted outside my door. There is "From the ends of the earth" in chapel. There is a note from Bill, calling me Ayelet. There is the Hebrew ring on my finger...
Even last night, I was walking between dorms. I had my jeans on with my slippers, and it was just cold enough that I could walk to the next dorm without getting chilled, but if I stayed out much longer I would get cold. It was dark and the wind was blowing. I was taken back to my time in Israel, walking in my slippers up the white stone steps, past the dining hall, the assembly hall, the reception, down the steep wooden steps to our little library.
Another day I looked across our athletic field and saw a little blonde boy being carried by his dad, and I thought of Eitan.
Are these just selfish longings, or will I be able to return to the land? I hope it is the latter...