Last year we were...
packing up our house.
saying goodbye to Santa Clarita friends.
holding back tears as we said goodbye to church friends.
staying up way too late, packing up glasses and plates and lamps and plants and other last-minute odds and ends, aided by our faithful friends, Luke and Danielle.
stopping at TMC one last time to hook up our little car and say goodbye to Todd, our IBEX professor.
waiting at the checkout at Walmart for just one more thing, watching someone else's Thousand Island leap from the conveyor belt and shatter on the floor.
driving through the hills north of L.A., tasting a few of the snacks from Luke and Danielle.
experiencing the grandeur of the Grand Canyon for the first time.
getting caught in a snow storm driving out of Albuquerque.
looking at the colorful houses sprinkled near the roads in a few Indian reservations.
listening to audiobooks.
eating out way too many times.
arriving in Oklahoma City on April 4th, 2014.
Lester recently asked me if I liked OKC better now that we've been here for a while.
That is a difficult question.
Oklahoma beats California in terms of thunderstorms and beautiful clouds.
I still miss Crossroads very much, I miss living next to Luke and Danielle (and baby Amelia), I miss going to normal-to-me grocery stores, I miss California turning green in January, I miss lots and lots of little things.
We found a great church here with genuine people, a good pastor, and opportunities to be involved. Without them, I know that I would feel adrift and alone.
We both have jobs. We are paying down Amos' school loans, our car loan, and other bills.
But part of me still doesn't know. The excitement of moving soon turned into tears, just wanting to go back home. Poor Amos. He was very kind and caring, as I spent a lot of time the first five months mourning the loss of friends and lifestyle.
Amos: It's an adventure. You like adventures!
Me: I'm done with adventures.
Danielle: God has you right where He wants you.
Me, thinking: I don't want Him to want us here.
I know it is easy to look back at California and only see the good parts. I know it is easy to look at Oklahoma and only see the bad parts. I don't even necessarily wish we could move back to California, because I know that things would not be exactly the same as they were before. There are a lot of good things about Oklahoma. It has just been a long adjustment, one that is still ongoing.
"Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:...seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare...for I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
I know Amos and I are not in exile. But think about this: Judah wanted to be back in Jerusalem, not in Babylon. However, God had brought them to Babylon, and God didn't want them to waste their time there. He told them to live their normal lives and to seek the good of the city His plans were not Judah's plans, but He was still working things out for their good and His glory.
"You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,
that the thing made should say of its maker,
'He did not make me';
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,
'He has no understanding'?"
Shouldn't I also trust Him?
Am I happy in Oklahoma? Yes and no.
Was I happy in California? Yes and no.
I guess this is just life. As much as I want it to be, life and experiences and emotions and attachments are rarely cut-and-dried, black-and-white, yes-or-no. Fortunately, "For I the LORD do not change..."
packing up our house.
saying goodbye to Santa Clarita friends.
holding back tears as we said goodbye to church friends.
staying up way too late, packing up glasses and plates and lamps and plants and other last-minute odds and ends, aided by our faithful friends, Luke and Danielle.
stopping at TMC one last time to hook up our little car and say goodbye to Todd, our IBEX professor.
waiting at the checkout at Walmart for just one more thing, watching someone else's Thousand Island leap from the conveyor belt and shatter on the floor.
driving through the hills north of L.A., tasting a few of the snacks from Luke and Danielle.
experiencing the grandeur of the Grand Canyon for the first time.
getting caught in a snow storm driving out of Albuquerque.
looking at the colorful houses sprinkled near the roads in a few Indian reservations.
listening to audiobooks.
eating out way too many times.
arriving in Oklahoma City on April 4th, 2014.
Lester recently asked me if I liked OKC better now that we've been here for a while.
That is a difficult question.
Oklahoma beats California in terms of thunderstorms and beautiful clouds.
I still miss Crossroads very much, I miss living next to Luke and Danielle (and baby Amelia), I miss going to normal-to-me grocery stores, I miss California turning green in January, I miss lots and lots of little things.
We found a great church here with genuine people, a good pastor, and opportunities to be involved. Without them, I know that I would feel adrift and alone.
We both have jobs. We are paying down Amos' school loans, our car loan, and other bills.
But part of me still doesn't know. The excitement of moving soon turned into tears, just wanting to go back home. Poor Amos. He was very kind and caring, as I spent a lot of time the first five months mourning the loss of friends and lifestyle.
Amos: It's an adventure. You like adventures!
Me: I'm done with adventures.
Danielle: God has you right where He wants you.
Me, thinking: I don't want Him to want us here.
I know it is easy to look back at California and only see the good parts. I know it is easy to look at Oklahoma and only see the bad parts. I don't even necessarily wish we could move back to California, because I know that things would not be exactly the same as they were before. There are a lot of good things about Oklahoma. It has just been a long adjustment, one that is still ongoing.
"Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:...seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare...for I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
::Jeremiah 29:4, 7, 11
I know Amos and I are not in exile. But think about this: Judah wanted to be back in Jerusalem, not in Babylon. However, God had brought them to Babylon, and God didn't want them to waste their time there. He told them to live their normal lives and to seek the good of the city His plans were not Judah's plans, but He was still working things out for their good and His glory.
"You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,
that the thing made should say of its maker,
'He did not make me';
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,
'He has no understanding'?"
:: Isaiah 29:16
Shouldn't I also trust Him?
Am I happy in Oklahoma? Yes and no.
Was I happy in California? Yes and no.
I guess this is just life. As much as I want it to be, life and experiences and emotions and attachments are rarely cut-and-dried, black-and-white, yes-or-no. Fortunately, "For I the LORD do not change..."
:: Malachi 3:6a
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